11 Places In New York City That Have Personally Offended Me

FIGHT ME, NYC.

The Ravine, Central Park, Manhattan

The Ravine, Central Park, Manhattan

Listen, I see what you're doing here, but just cut it out. I don't need the sounds of gently babbling brooks and chirping birds—I have a sink faucet that's been leaking since the Kennedy Administration and what I can only pray is a family of pigeons roosting in the drop ceiling.

Ennuipoet/Flickr CC / Via Dave Bledsoe

Rockaway Beach, Queens

Rockaway Beach, Queens

Hahaha, OK, wooow. I know LA is finally cool now, but let's at least try to maintain a shred of dignity here. Throw a couple of latex gloves and a half-eaten hot dog in there and we'll call it even.

Spencer Platt / Getty Images

Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Prospect Park, Brooklyn

What is this, the rowboat scene from The Notebook? Well, I've never seen The Notebook but I'm pretty sure one tree encased in a sad prison of cement and spaced thirty feet from the next tree is MORE THAN ENOUGH TREES. This? It's a bit much. And all that oxygen goes right to your head.

Yana_n / Getty Images

Belvedere Castle, Central Park, Manhattan

Belvedere Castle, Central Park, Manhattan

Might I remind you that this is New York, not some mystical fairyland that makes you feel both young and timeless all at once. If I wanted castles and romance I'll look at the coupon for a Shrek the Third DVD that I keep taped to my bedroom wall in place of a window.

Songquan Deng / Getty Images


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